Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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