and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
