Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
