I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
