I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
