Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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