We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
