So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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