The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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