Having a random hookup so left but love u
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
