I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
