every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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