I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
