He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
