it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
