I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
