Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
