Can Purell be used as lube?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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