Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
