i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Houston, we have a blender
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
