I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
