The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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