i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
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thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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