I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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