Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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