Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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