All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize