did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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