i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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