and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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