I cannot find my penis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In other news, I just burned my penis
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
