Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
