Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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