The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.