So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.