Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.