I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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