Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize