Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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