I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's just so happy...and so naked.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
