I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
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Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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