the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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