don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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