I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
