i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
