i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
