I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
