There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
