I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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