You smell like stripper and shame
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
