It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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