she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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