my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
