Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Damn victory sex feels great
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
