dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
