Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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