White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
