It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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