Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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