i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
